how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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