lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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