Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
