my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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