Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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