I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
