i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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