I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
