Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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