Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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