Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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