oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
