very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You are a genius and a whore.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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