Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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