I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Alive.
So much puke
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
