I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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