He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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