Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
