I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
