I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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