did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
