Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
