hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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