he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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