So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
