I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
