he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
