I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
