i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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