I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
