Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
