Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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