Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
