Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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