Is it normal to miss your booty call?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize