Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
