just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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