In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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