I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
