I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
