i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
