He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize