porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
