you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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