I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
