hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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