dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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