I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
