My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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