Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
