I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
