I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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