yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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