Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
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There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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