She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
