We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
