The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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