dude i'm inner monologue high
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
