: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
