You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
