dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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