chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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