Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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