haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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